Babies can tell friend from foe

Infants who have not yet learned language can still tell friend from foe. Babies aged around six months prefer people who co-operate, rather than people who hurt. This ability could be the foundation for moral thought and action later in life, say researchers.

Previous studies had showed that babies prefer physically attractive people, but there has been no data on whether babies judge people based on how they behave. Simple experiments were conducted to gauge whether six and 10-month-old infants preferred social individuals (helpers) or anti-social individuals (hinderers). The infant was made to watch a 'climber' (a wood puppet with large eyes glued on to it) repeatedly try to climb a hill. On the third try, the climber was either given help or was pushed back down by a puppet. The babies were then given the chance to reach out and grasp either the helper or hinderer puppet. Very high rates of babies chose the helping character. The authors argue it is something innate, rather than babies learning the behaviour. » Continue reading

Read more on Family, Personality Development

Wedlocked!

The big fat South Asian 'weddings' have managed to get under the skin of the liberal Brits. Reportedly, instances of forced weddings in Asian families settled in Britain are increasing. A Forced Marriages Unit (FMU) operated by the Home Office and Foreign Office has stepped in. In July, the British parliament enacted the Forced Marriage (Civil Protection) Act 2007.

If you or someone you know is being forced into a marriage, contact the FMU at 020-7008 -0151 between 9am and 5pm, Monday to Friday or email fmu@fco.gov.uk. The FMU offers confidential support and information. If you would like to know more about the work of the Forced Marriage Unit, log on to www.fco.gov.uk/forcedmarriage.

Confidential advice is also available from a large network of support groups, including The Police, the National Domestic Violence Helpline, and women's refuges nationwide. » Continue reading

Read more on Family

The curious world of ...ADOLESCENTS

Adolescents? ...'Scream foul play' was the first thing that came to my mind. It's difficult enough being one of three with siblings who seem permanently stuck in adolescence without having to explain and analyze their next to inexplicable behaviour. Still, I decided to actually try and understand what exactly makes an adolescent tick; after all it wasn't long ago that I was one myself.

I spoke to a couple of befuddled parents of this 'breed'. The love for their offspring was not lost, a tad diluted maybe, but still there. It is the growing up years from childhood to adulthood that make them different. Most of them become extra rebellious during this period, in fact, relatively shy and timid kids seemed to acquire unexpected gumption. "To me it looks like my daughter will be an adolescent for ever!" sighs the mother of a particularly vociferous going-to-be adult. Doors slam, reason is thrown out of the window, captured by the wind and pushed some place where it cannot be found. Another mother of a son this time, says her 16-year-old toes the line. Pretty much. "He knows who lays down the rules, and respects that," this lucky mother smiles.

Psychologists have different theories to this. To most popular one: "This is the 'in-between phase' where you don't really understand if you are grown up or you're still a kid. If you do something wrong then you are chided for 'acting like a kid' and if you act too grown up then they think you 'know' too much and are going above yourself." In fact it as at this stage that in a desperate attempt to gain acceptance from adults, society as well as their peers that a crack occurs. It's cool to party late nights but it ain't cool to come back late! Often this conflict of interest results in them being so rebellious. "I don't know how to handle it sometimes. My friends and my parents have opposite interests but I try to always have a meeting point between the two even if what I'm doing is not very morally correct though by myself I would do things differently," says Arjun.

There are two sides to every coin. Adolescents now days are taking things in their stride by learning to deal with a great many aspects of their lives. Right form peer pressure, to social and moral responsibilities and their parents. Speaking to one parent Mrs. Krithika "I give my son full freedom and don't really restrict him unless it involves his safety and he completely understands that. They just want to be able to make their decisions and we don't question him unless it's truly not the right one. The best way to ensure they don't do the wrong things is allow them to make their decisions after explaining the consequences." The way to understand them is to accept them, sooner rather than later they'll grow out of it; but it should be kept in mind that acceptance is not the same as negligence. While peer pressure and social acceptance is necessary and important for the adolescent, they should be well aware of the consequences of undesirable activities. » Continue reading

Read more on Family

A good, clean fight

The sound of raised voices fills the air -- your children are squabbling again. Should you intervene? Here are tips from child psychiatrists:

• Don't stop every argument. Children need to learn to negotiate.
  
• Step in immediately if they are hurting each other or you suspect bullying.
  
• When you do intervene, describe what each child is doing to the other, what each might be feeling and what might be a fair solution. Even better, get them to do this themselves. Say you believe they can sort it out and give them time to try again.
  
• Offer some age-appropriate ways of dealing with anger: walk away; use words instead of fists; take turns; count to ten; think first; try to see things from the other's point of view.
  
• Don't solve their fights over possessions by providing two of everything. It's better that they learn to share.
  
• Try not always to blame the older kids. Younger children can be very frustrating -- and in the wrong.
  
• Make your own handling of arguments a model for your children to follow.

» Continue reading

Read more on Family

Estate Planning in a Pinch

It's hard to think straight when a loved one is seriously ill. Martin Shenkman, an American lawyer and author of 32 books on estate and financial planning offers this checklist:

Draw up papers.
Everyone needs a durable power of attorney and a will. The first one names someone to manage affairs if the person cannot, the second specifies how assets are to be divided among heirs. In addition, a "living will" can tell hospitals what to do regarding possible life support.

Update records.
Locate financial documents, such as tax returns, shares, FD receipts and bank accounts. See if the right co-owners and beneficiaries are properly identified and named.

Discuss private matters.
Jot down lock combinations, passwords, and locations of any hidden valuables.

Limit fights.
Ask the person to tell heirs about his or her wishes. "When heirs hear those wishes, they're more likely to accept them," Shenkman says.
» Continue reading

Read more on Family, Relationships

Daddy's got that glow

Mummies aren't the only ones who ride the hormone roller coaster -- first-time fathers undergo similar changes. Canadian researchers observed that from the first trimester to a few months after birth, the 23 papas-to-be who were studied had lower levels of testosterone and the stress hormone cortisol, and many had higher levels of estradiol, a hormone linked with maternal behaviour. This might help explain couvade syndrome, where 11% to 65% of men with pregnant partners experience symptoms like morning sickness. » Continue reading

Read more on Family

Planning Parenthood

The next generation of women need to strategize for a family. While writing Creating a Life, Sylvia Ann Hewlett found that a third of well-paid career women were childless at 40, and most hadn't planned it that way.

The "creeping non-choice" arises because most young career women believe they can wait until 40 to have kids. But statistics say a woman's fertility typically peaks by 30 and drops 50% by 35. By her early 40s, she has a 3% to 5% chance of having a baby, even using fertility techniques.

"If you want children, plan where you want to be at 45 and work backwards," says Hewlett. "Make time to find a partner. Seek out a company with policies that will help you have both work and family in your life." » Continue reading

Read more on Family