HashOut: 2007/11/14

A good, clean fight

The sound of raised voices fills the air -- your children are squabbling again. Should you intervene? Here are tips from child psychiatrists:
  • Don't stop every argument. Children need to learn to negotiate.
  • Step in immediately if they are hurting each other or you suspect bullying.
  • When you do intervene, describe what each child is doing to the other, what each might be feeling and what might be a fair solution. Even better, get them to do this themselves. Say you believe they can sort it out and give them time to try again.
  • Offer some age-appropriate ways of dealing with anger: walk away; use words instead of fists; take turns; count to ten; think first; try to see things from the other's point of view.
  • Don't solve their fights over possessions by providing two of everything. It's better that they learn to share.
  • Try not always to blame the older kids. Younger children can be very frustrating -- and in the wrong.
  • Make your own handling of arguments a model for your children to follow.
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